Friend Friday: Mates in the Mess

I have this friend (I wish she lived next-door). She’s not able to E-mail often now, but when she does I love to read them, and writing back can take hours. I go through her mail, usually finding at least 5 things to respond to. 1 or 2 of them take some thought, and a very long paragraph! Last week she wrote: “I don’t want a boyfriend now … Ok; I want one, but don’t want him to be a part of my mess”, and she listed some of her struggles.

That made me think, and I asked her a question. “If someone will love you in your mess, and not abandon you, surely that’s better than having someone who’ll only love you when things go well?”

Maybe you’ve had a health-problem for a long time and hate to think you’d be a burden. Maybe you’re unemployed, and feel you might struggle for things to talk about. Or maybe you look at others around you who seem to have it all together (or at least, more together than you do), and you can’t see yourself making somebody happy; surely another person would be a better candidate.

I deliberately picked those 3 so I could write truthfully that if you’ve struggled with any of them, you’re not on your own, but can I encourage you to think about this for a minute? If you’ll only allow yourself to be blessed once you’ve reached that goal of perfection, how long might that take! Instead, will you dare to let people in to your mess? I’m not just talking here about romance, but friendships too. There are plenty who’ll stand by you when life is good; far fewer will find ways to show you love even in the difficulties. These are true friends.

Do you have any stories about true friends? People you’ve let in to your mess? I’d love to hear them in the comments.

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2 thoughts on “Friend Friday: Mates in the Mess

  1. Some very wise words here. It makes me think of how Jesus didn’t come to save those who already had it altogether. He came “while we were yet sinners”. We are to love others in the same way which means we need to be willing to let others see our mess as well.
    Thanks so much for sharing and I love that your friend has you!

    • What a lovely comment – thank you for visiting my blog.

      Yeah, being willing can be a tough one ‘cos not everyone wants to see our messiness, but find someone who will and you know they’re very precious. My friend will see mine as well as letting me see hers.

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