This is my Last Day

Over the weekend, I’ve had so many things knocking on the door of my heart. At church yesterday, my pastor talked about Psalm 43 – how loss of hope and isolation were wrong roads to go down. I felt I was losing hope in certain areas of my life, E.G. I have a friend who’s mentally ill; another friend who’s battling, and oftentimes the opponent wins.

I saw a status on Facebook about someone’s 24-year-old husband who died suddenly. He’d just graduated, had a job at the Bible-college and his whole life in front of him. 24! Here I was at 34, feeling like I didn’t have much to offer, and I was alive. He was 24 with a wife, a job and prospects, and his life was abruptly taken from him. God seemed cruel.

In the afternoon, I listened to a podcast. The episode was called “Are you Broken”. In it Jarrod Cooper urged us to have seasons of brokenness, but not to make those seasons our identity – not to live in them our whole lives.

Whilst reading Dawn Camp’s “The Beauty of Grace” ready to review it later this week, I came across an entry about someone who’d had a chaotic time with a trip to an emergency room, a funeral, and Christmas. A jar of strawberry jam fell out of her fridge, and as she eyed the red stickiness and shards of glass, she was reminded of the dawn of redeeming grace – Jesus coming into the mess of our lives.

A friend had invited me to a Bible-study today. One of the questions asked us to think about writing a song: ‘This is my last day’. All these things I was processing from the weekend seemed suddenly to come together about half an hour before I left the house:
This is my last day, this is goodbye
To a time of brokenness;
Though I may feel weak, it’s not my identity –
I don’t want to live there.

I wanna wake up and say
That this is a good day;
I’m putting my hope there in the Lord:
I will trust Him to hide
Every piece of my life
In His redeeming grace

This is my last day, this is goodbye
To a time of selfishness;
There is injustice, and there is suffering,
But I will choose to see the best.


Why must I go on mourning?
Why is my soul so downcast?
I will yet praise You, Lord.


31 Days of Song: “Broken World”

This is a song I bought just recently.  I was reading somewhere and The Talleys were described as a ‘Progressive southern gospel group’.  I don’t usually like southern gospel, so maybe it’s the progressive part that makes them different!  But if you were to ask me who were my favourite female singers, Lauren Talley would definitely be on the list; she has a gorgeous voice, a great range, and I love the message of hope this song gives.  You only have to listen to the news for a day or so to see the mess we’re in.  I heard yesterday about a Belgian killed by euthanasia after a sex-change operation that went wrong.  This really is a broken world, but as the song says:

“Wrong is right and right is wrong, but not for long.”


Why not take a moment today to bring your brokenness to the Lord?  And be comforted.  Because He’s preparing a place for you and in not very long, you can be there with Him, where there’s no more brokenness, pain, sadness, or any of those things this world has to offer.

A-Z: Zest for Life

There’s an Amy Grant song I absolutely hate.  Lyric-wise it’s probably one of the worst Christian songs I’ve heard.  The honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a hallelujah sometimes?  She’s basically saying God loves our honesty and brokenness more than our praise, but I don’t think that’s right.  Because I think us honestly telling God how we feel should complement our hallelujahs, but never replace them.  I remember hearing a friend say that when he felt down he would find things to praise God for, like a table or a chair or the roof over his head, and I think that’s what God loves – authentic praise; when things are going well, and in the midst of heartache.

When you reflect on someone’s limited time on this earth, you’re reminded of how important it is to take an extra-deep breath of fresh air and make the most of the time you’ve got.  I was originally going to put this quote from Pope John Paul II under H for hallelujah, but it fits in well with ‘Zest for life’.  “Do not abandon yourselves to despair.  We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.”